I'm afraid I'm inclined to be philosophical this week. (Sorry, for those I put on the list already. Just have the time now.)
It's my last chance for unnecessary thinking, maybe. From here on out the paring process begins.
The dichotomy I have figured out. From the one world, the more familiar, the leap into military business is the extraordinary, the amazing thing. Basic Training is unendurable except by the very courageous, and I must be brave to attempt it. Whereas college is assumed as a natural step, and of course the only question is where and what you will study.
In the new world, Basic is just the kindergarten. The prequel to life, the beginning of things. Difficult but ordinary; everyone does it when they're young and things are simple. And of course it gets better as you go along. But college, now. College is a wonder; the intent to study and pass intensive courses, and above all, to attempt a degree --there is the anomaly. Barely anyone goes to college, and gets civilian education.
So there you have it. I'm making of myself a hybrid, a cross of two different worlds. I like both very much. I don't think I could live in the new without the old, but it does add such a flavor of excitement. As if the walls of the old house crumbled and the countryside outside was exotic and almost stunning. As if, once I know I can do more, and be truly useful as a person, the heady mixture of what I want to be and what I am will run together smoothly.
I'm beginning to realize I hope for a change like worm to butterfly; a quitessential alteration of being, almost. As if I'm jumping into a breaking place, and asking to be reforged. I seem to be making my own plans for what glorious thing God will do with my life of this. I had better rethink this.
I've been thinking a lot about the place of women in the military. Proper use, etc.
It's a difficult topic, particularly with the scandals lately. I would hate to be sent to Cuba if what I would be doing there would be guard duty. Not that I'd be in the same temptation, but drat it. Women guarding men? All their waking hours? That's just stupid, for many reasons. I tend to agree with Dr. K. in believing that women will always desire to be in authority over men, and allowing such a reversal of roles cannot help but be impairing, particularly in a setting that invites misuse. Some of the girls in, are in because they want to be tough and prove it any way possible; that doesn't help. Others --others are so obviously feminine and nice, you wonder if they can survive. I suppose I'm seen that way, but I'm sturdier than I appear. I wish I could assure people of that, the ones who say with puzzlement to my mother, "But Elsbeth doesn't seem tough at all. Not unfeminine and rowdy. I don't understand it." They should meet Sgt. Williamson. Effecient and very nice; and oh, the very very pretty Marine officer.
I can't remember whether courage is always embodied as a male, as wisdom and beauty are always female. I think it may be courage of a different sort. Another reason for being a medic: the urge to protect rather than attack.
Man, I'm running on. All the thoughts of this week poured out all at once, in a jumble. If I'm clearer in the morning --oh, check the other blog.